It's easy to envision Jenna Valentine as a stacked coed. She looks like a college girl. No need to mentally picture that visual. It's here now in photos and a video. Lugging books across a campus--what a nice image. Jenna once posed as a maid during a week in Mexico with Leanne Crow, Natalie Fiore, Micky Bells and Hitomi. That was a great photo shoot and so is this. If there was a Miss Busty Coed contest, Jenna would get our votes.
In 2009, when Jenna first visited, a TSG editor observed that "Jenna is not one of those unapproachable hotties that are too stuck-up to speak to you. To say that Jenna has an amazing personality is pretty darn factual."
It turns out that Jenna is a fright flick fan.
"I love horror movies. I like old-school Universal, Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Creature From The Black Lagoon. I like the older '80s slasher movies like Freddy Krueger and Jason and Halloween. I have all of those on DVD. All the black 'n' white ones. I fall asleep a lot to Dracula, the black 'n' white one with Bela Lugosi. I love The Evil Dead remake. A lot of new horror movies I'm not into."
Maybe one day we should do a Halloween-style shoot with Jenna. Which movie or TV character would work? Lily Munster? Morticia Addams? Vampirella?
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Jenna Valentine isn't a huge-boobed coed (she's working as a huge-boobed make-up artist now) but in our breast-addicted brains, the idea of a sexy coed shoot of Jenna was irresistible. And even though it often seems that Jenna's a rebel, a busty policewoman shoot would probably be very hot as a future shoot.
Jenna should get her own reality TV show. She's got a wickedly wry sense of humor. If she met a guy she was attracted to, the first thing she would ask him is if he likes cats. If she won a million dollars, she'd want a dream vacation to Tokyo and surround herself with Hello Kitties. Her handle on Twitter is "All of the feelings." There is reason to believe she watches Japanese cat videos on YouTube.
"Mexico was really fun," says Jenna. "We had a cat room. The cats went in and out of the house, and I was just obsessed. I just sat in front of the cat room. They also had a room of dogs. I had so many new friends! I would stare at them all day. I love cats. I have two. I want two more. I have Harlow, who's a little black cat, and I adopted a cat a year and a half ago named Adam who's an obese tuxedo cat with half a tail, and he has too many feelings."
Now on to the boobs.
"They're so heavy! I told you, they're full of feelings. I want to weigh them but I think you need a vegetable scale because you can't put them on a regular scale. It doesn't work. I don't want them to grow any more. This is good enough. This shoot is really fun because I'm happier with my body. I think I look better."
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What better day than Valentine's Day for a Jenna Valentine appearance? Jenna visits a swanky nightclub and slips out of her evening gown to show her spectacularly beautiful body. It's a "Lux Life" after all.
Jenna's very funny with a cool, wry style. She's funnier than the chicks who get their own sitcoms. Thats' why Jenna needs her own Bravo reality TV show. She out-boobs anyone on that station.
SCORELAND: What makes you laugh the hardest?
Jenna Valentine: My bills.
SCORELAND: How would you spend a million dollars?
Jenna Valentine: I'd take a dream vacation to Tokyo and surround myself with all of the Hello Kitties.
SCORELAND: What's the best compliment you've ever received?
Jenna Valentine: Telling me I'm smart, cute and funny.
SCORELAND: What's the best part of being beautiful.
Jenna Valentine: Getting presents.
SCORELAND: What's the best way for a guy to get on your good side?
Jenna Valentine: Turn into a pizza or a kitten or a kitten with a pizza.
SCORELAND: How are you and bras getting along these days now that your boobs are so big?
Jenna Valentine: I've been wearing sports bras because I'm lazy and they make my boobs look better in clothes and they don't have underwires. They're so comfortable. They're stretchy and hold my boobs in better and give me better cleavage.
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The place: a lux lounge somewhere in Miami. Jenna Valentine wears an evening gown that's long and glammy. But not for long. Such beauty, overflowing boobage, ivory skin and voluptuousness must not be hidden by any kind of garment. Because the mind of a man is always in the mood for nude. Or something like that.
SCORELAND: Which was your favorite shoot since you began modeling at SCORELAND?
Jenna Valentine: I had a lot of fun in Mexico. This shoot is really fun because I'm happier with my body. I think I look better. But I had a lot of fun the first time. Mexico was really fun. Mexico had a cat room. They went in and out in the house, and I was just obsessed. I just sat in front of the cat room. They also had a room of dogs. I had so many new friends! I would stare at them all day. I love cats.
SCORELAND: You have cats...
Jenna Valentine: I have two. I want two more.
SCORELAND: What are their names?
Jenna Valentine: I have Harlow, who's a little black cat, and I adopted a cat a year and a half ago named Adam who's an obese tuxedo cat with half a tail, and he has too many feelings.
SCORELAND: Did the dogs in Mexico send you any dick pics?
Jenna Valentine: No, they're on Twitter with their dicks.
SCORELAND: You notice a guy and find him attractive. What happens next?
Jenna Valentine: I ask him if he likes cats.
SCORELAND: What makes you horny?
Jenna Valentine: A sense of humor or you look like Rob Zombie.
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At poolside, Jenna Valentine is killing a tiny bikini which is little more than a string with some doily-size pieces of cloth. Jenna says she doesn't own bikinis because she can't find any that fit her. And she rarely goes to the beach anyway. That makes us sad. The not-fitting part is the fun part. Seeing Jenna overpower this bikini can overload a boob-man's little gray cells. That makes us happy. But you must love Jenna for more than her huge titties and pretty face and curvaceous rack. You must also love Jenna for being Jenna, which is what we do. As Jenna said in 2009 when she first strolled into SCORE, "I would rather have a guy come up to me and tell me I am beautiful or even pretty than for him to tell me that I have big boobs."
After a few minutes of a mixed-topic chat with the director about bikinis, dolphins, her mom's swimming pool, her breast growth spurt (now at a HH-cup) her new tattoos and dating, Jenna peels off the suit and goes for a skinny dip. This is the part when the underwater footage is cut in as she wades in the pool. That frogman training was really worth the tuition fees. Some sculptor somewhere should create a statue in Jenna's likeness that men could pray to. We promised not to call Jenna's skin "creamy" and we'll stand by that promise. But it should be okay to call Jenna a work of living art.
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More things you should know about Jenna Valentine who is killing a bikini in this pictorial and video. She deserves her own sit-com on network television, in our opinion.
Favorite movies:
"I love horror movies. I like old-school Universal, so Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Creature From The Black Lagoon. I like the older '80s slasher movies like Freddy Krueger and Jason and Halloween. I love The Evil Dead remake. A lot of new horror movies I'm not into. I love those. I have all of those on DVD. All the black 'n' white ones. I fall asleep a lot to Dracula, the black and white one with Bela Lugosi."
Jenna's television viewing habits:
"Dance Moms. I love Toddlers & Tiaras. There's something about child pageants that really makes me happy. I think they're hilarious. I want to steal someone's kid and put them in a tanning booth and enter them in a pageant. I want to compete with crazy pageant moms. I've been watching Naked and Afraid, which is about putting two strangers in a terrible place with crocodiles and bugs and they're naked and they can only bring one item, and it's so funny. They have to be in the middle of nowhere for 21 days with a hatchet and they have to survive. I also watch Boardwalk Empire."
"I don't really watch a lot of TV because I work a lot, and I like to read, too, so I have to choose if I'm going to read or watch TV, and sometimes I just need a break from the world and want to watch grown-ass women yelling at each other. They have so many problems! I can't watch the Kardashians. They're so boring. I can't get into it. I love when Gordon Ramsay yells at people. I think it's sexy. There's something sexy about him. He spits out food and throws stuff. It's funny."
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